So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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