best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
that's an acceptable place to lick
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
