Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
