I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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