After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
