Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
