how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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