No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
