I wish I only lived at night.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
