If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Also, beer. Big fan.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
