All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
