white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
When did angry sex become our thing?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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