The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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