He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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