Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
