just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
