Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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