It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
