all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
