My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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