I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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