You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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