just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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