member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
