Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
