you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
