Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
