Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I would fuck him just for his dog
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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