she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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