dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Randomize
