What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
