bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
