I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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