What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
