the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
