You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
