oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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