i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
