Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
