The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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