Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
