It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There's always time for handjobs
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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