I accidentally had phone sex last night
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
