Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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