So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
