i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
