Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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