Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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