you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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