dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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