So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
birth control should be required to get into college
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
