so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
