just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
