I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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